Endings and beginnings

When we moved out here my commitment to the boys was to provide some stability. When we found Heritage school I was excited for them that they would finally be able to stay in one school until grade 12. No more being the new student or having to learn your way around a new building. I have kept my promise to them and really feel it is important to continue keeping that promise.
Unfortunately, not all is in my control. Jon has made some choices over the past month that have resulted in his being asked to withdraw from Heritage. It was with heartbreak I watched him walk away from his friends and the familiarity and safety at that school. He will be attending Chestermere middle school this year and changing again next year to go to the Chestermere High.
I am getting a little glimpse of how God's heart breaks as he watches us make poor choices and allows us to face the consequences that follow. How he must want to reach out and change and protect us. But he wants a real relationship with us and that means respecting our choices and loving us in spite of them. Lord help me to do the same for my son.

One of those days

The last 24 hours has not been the best...without going in to detail let me just say that we are all dented and bruised physically, emotionally and mentally. I could cry at any moment yet still carry on with the mundane necessary motions in life cause....well you have to, don't you. And I know it will pass, things will get better, they are certainly not nearly as bad as they could be.... but life hurts, bad things suck.....I am tired

Bubble Therapy

This always works for me when I'm feeling out of sorts! It apparently works for boys too.
We discovered if you put a little body wash in the water then turn the jets on high the bubbles just keep growing. I have had them even higher than this(but didn't take a picture of course) 

Thanksgiving Weekend

We had a house dedication, work day and Thanksgiving Dinner at the new place on Thanksgiving Monday. Dad and Brad are trying (unsuccessfully) to burn the weeds. Garron's dad came over and trimmed our wild hedge. thanks for all your help and it was great to have everyone there to celebrate with us!
Mom worked like crazy in the garden areas around the house. I have quite a few perennials that will need her touch in the spring.(i know nothing about plants). Brad helped carry hedge clippings with the promise of a football game after. They ended up going to the pool instead (right across the street)
We have a great tree in the yard but they have been unable to actually get up to the tree house.
Ocean found a friend. The lady bug is out of focus but thats whats on her finger, not a wart! 

Our House

Here are the pictures of our new (old) house. I finally got to a computer that works. This is the front of the house. The large window is the living room. The front entrance is actually being used as an extra little room/office? The back has a large mud room entrance. Garron has already made the inside look incredible. Painting and patching and fixing. We will post before and after photos soon. I was there today and it felt great to look around and know that it is MINE! 

Jonathan

Butting heads, rolling eyes,
mother's tears and tired sighs.

You were my baby, first one of my own
I hadn't imagined how strong the feelings would be
I had never felt that connected to anyone
You were mine, I was yours, heart and soul


Every new thing you did was amazing, and newsworthy
each smile, burp and coo

Then school, off you went on the bus, all alone in
your too big blue jacket.
Did you hate it? Were you scared? I didn't ask,
you didn't say.

You hate it now. I see it in your face, you aren't afraid to tell me
But you are so smart
Your teachers see it
your friends are drawn to you, even the older ones,
there is something about you, in you, just you
A gift
A gift for what? For what purpose? To what end?

You don't see the gift. What do you see?

I see a young man, I see my baby grown
I see hurt, fear of failure, fear of rejection and ridicule

I see strength and gentleness, together and at war
hope, joy and optimism together with
depression, fear and failure.

Who are you really?
Wonderfully and creatively made, a child of the King
precious, irreplaceable and incredible

Jonathan means gift from God
that's why we chose your name
You are my gift and I will do all I can to protect you
encourage you and provide opportunity for you to become the gift
God intends for you to be.

He has a plan, he gave you your abilities and interests, he sees your
pain and struggles and loves you completely
Where you are, as you are and
as you can be

My heart breaks with you and for you,
when I see you struggle, when I see you hurt

I love you, I am praying for you
Jonathan, my gift

My Mom

I wish I had the words and ability to tell you how much my mom means to me and how much I admire and respect her.

Unique, real, genuine
family is first
my champion, defender, cheerleader
encourager

sees my potential, knows my faults
and weaknesses but loves fully
hurts for me and with me
loves to see me succeed and acheive
(for my sake, not hers)

there is no agenda
there are no strings
just freedom to be, to try, to fail
and to keep going

there was no judgement when I reached the end
just an arm and a shoulder to cry on
and the words "I think you're amazing"

I think you are amazing, mom
Thank you.