Psalm 5 Amanda's paraphrase
"Papa God, Please pay attention!
Can you make sense of these ramblings,
my groans and cries?
Papa god, I need your help
Every morning you'll hear me at it again
Every morning I lay out the pieces of my life on your altar and wait"
And that cry was originally from David, a man after God's own heart. If he struggled daily, who am I to assume I can or should do better. I get so frustrated with myself as I try and fail, try and fail, hurt those around me as I try to get healing myself...
This messy process seems to much for a black and white, perfectionist....
Amanda,Jonathan, Bradley and Ocean have recently moved from Ontario to Alberta. It is the beginning of a new adventure for all of us and we want to share our journeys with you.
Thursday, December 05, 2013
Monday, November 25, 2013
Stand in the Rain
She never slows down.
She doesn't know why, but she knows that when she's all alone, feels like its all coming down
She won't turn around
The shadows are long and she fears if she cries that first tear, the tears will not stop raining down
So stand in the rain'
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
and one day, what's lost can be found
You stand in the rain
She won't make a sound
Alone in this fight with herself and the fears whispering, "if she stands she'll fall down"
She wants to be found
the only way out is through everything she's running from
wants to give up and lie down
so stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
You stand through he pain
You won't drown
And one day, what's lost can be found
You stand in the rain
Superchick
Oh God, how I wish I had the strength to do this but I just don't right now. You are going to have to hold me up in the rain, because I have fallen and I am drowning.
She doesn't know why, but she knows that when she's all alone, feels like its all coming down
She won't turn around
The shadows are long and she fears if she cries that first tear, the tears will not stop raining down
So stand in the rain'
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
and one day, what's lost can be found
You stand in the rain
She won't make a sound
Alone in this fight with herself and the fears whispering, "if she stands she'll fall down"
She wants to be found
the only way out is through everything she's running from
wants to give up and lie down
so stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
You stand through he pain
You won't drown
And one day, what's lost can be found
You stand in the rain
Superchick
Oh God, how I wish I had the strength to do this but I just don't right now. You are going to have to hold me up in the rain, because I have fallen and I am drowning.
Tuesday, October 08, 2013
THE PORCUPINE WHO THOUGHT HE WAS A PUPPY
There once was a porcupine who thought he was a puppy. All through his growing up years his family and friends told him how cute and cuddly he was. How his beautiful red fur was soft and fluffy. When he looked in a mirror (which was hardly ever) he saw his own bright brown eyes, button nose, and cuddly round shape. "yup, I'm pretty darn cute and cuddly", he told himself and went on his way.
Once in a while there would be someone who came in to his life that would make him uncomfortable. They would flinch when he got near, they would tell him that he hurt them. This made him sad and he felt they were being really unfair because all he was doing was snuggling up with them, cuddling them close and showing how much he loved them. Some of them would be bleeding and he would be quite concerned for them and want them to get that fixed so they could be close again. Usually these people were too self centered to stick around long, they whined and complained; sometimes they got mad for no reason and then they would just go away.
Our poor porcupine didn't understand why there were people like that in the world and his friends and family encouraged him that he was better off without them, that one day the "right one" would come along.
Finally the day came, our porcupine found someone he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, they had fun together, they made plans for the future. Almost all of the time things were happy and good but once in a while things would not be so good. There would be a lot of blood, and the porcupine would be blamed." How could it be me?" he thought " I am the same as I always was." The love of his life tried to put on extra layers, and bandage the holes but the layers were torn by his sharp needles and the punctures ripped open as he carelessly showed his affection. This made the porcupine uncomfortable and unhappy. what was wrong with his love? Why was she so poorly constructed that she kept getting injured. His love was sad too, she had tried to tell him that it was his quills that were hurting her, she knew a trick that would make them lie flat and then it would be safe to be close and cuddle. "QUIILLS! I DON'T HAVE QUILLS, ARE YOU CRAZY?" he shouted at her, frustrated beyond belief. "I am a soft, furry puppy, ask anyone who knows me!"
Finally the porcupine found himself alone. His love had left to "heal" but I will be back she promised, I will learn how to keep myself safe but it will work so much better if you would learn how to protect me too. Because he really did love her, and wasn't a mean porcupine/puppy he agreed to talk to the wise owl. The wise owl sat with him night after night talking about all sorts of things. They talked about his family....he remembered vaguely once seeing a large spiny shadow when his dad walked by and his mom was definitely more of a wire haired breed than a soft retriever but he didn't think there were any porcupines in the family tree; surely not." Let's look at just the facts" said the wise old owl. "When you jump on her lap, rub against her or hold her close she says it hurts and sometimes there is blood?" he asked. "yes, but that's not from me, someone else must have hurt her or maybe she's imagining it" answered porcupine.
"I have met your love and I can assure you she is not imagining her hurt, and while she has some scars from before she met you, these wounds are fresh" said the owl gently but firmly. "you love her,and you only want what is best for her, but the facts remain" here our wise owl gently puts his arm around the porcupine and looks sadly into his face. "you are hurting her"
"The good news is, you can make some adjustments, it will take time and you will have to practise lots and I will help you. Together we can learn how to keep those quills lying flat to keep your love safe from harm. She will come back and will have learned how to avoid injury when you forget to protect her but together you will help each other. You are a porcupine, that is one of the things she loves about you but you are not a puppy and you need to remember that your quills can protect but they can also hurt."
The porcupine stopped by the reflecting pond on the way home and took a good long look. He did have sparkly brown eyes, a cute button nose and he was round and cuddly shaped but then he saw something more, the moonlight sparkled on a thousand spiky tips; not soft fur like he'd always imagined. long, hard, razor sharp; they covered his body. His heart broke as he imagined those piercing the soft skin of his love. He pictured her face loving him, but also grimacing in pain. "I will learn!" he vowed to himself. "With help and hard work, I can learn how to keep her safe and then we can be together"
There once was a porcupine who thought he was a puppy. All through his growing up years his family and friends told him how cute and cuddly he was. How his beautiful red fur was soft and fluffy. When he looked in a mirror (which was hardly ever) he saw his own bright brown eyes, button nose, and cuddly round shape. "yup, I'm pretty darn cute and cuddly", he told himself and went on his way.
Once in a while there would be someone who came in to his life that would make him uncomfortable. They would flinch when he got near, they would tell him that he hurt them. This made him sad and he felt they were being really unfair because all he was doing was snuggling up with them, cuddling them close and showing how much he loved them. Some of them would be bleeding and he would be quite concerned for them and want them to get that fixed so they could be close again. Usually these people were too self centered to stick around long, they whined and complained; sometimes they got mad for no reason and then they would just go away.
Our poor porcupine didn't understand why there were people like that in the world and his friends and family encouraged him that he was better off without them, that one day the "right one" would come along.
Finally the day came, our porcupine found someone he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, they had fun together, they made plans for the future. Almost all of the time things were happy and good but once in a while things would not be so good. There would be a lot of blood, and the porcupine would be blamed." How could it be me?" he thought " I am the same as I always was." The love of his life tried to put on extra layers, and bandage the holes but the layers were torn by his sharp needles and the punctures ripped open as he carelessly showed his affection. This made the porcupine uncomfortable and unhappy. what was wrong with his love? Why was she so poorly constructed that she kept getting injured. His love was sad too, she had tried to tell him that it was his quills that were hurting her, she knew a trick that would make them lie flat and then it would be safe to be close and cuddle. "QUIILLS! I DON'T HAVE QUILLS, ARE YOU CRAZY?" he shouted at her, frustrated beyond belief. "I am a soft, furry puppy, ask anyone who knows me!"
Finally the porcupine found himself alone. His love had left to "heal" but I will be back she promised, I will learn how to keep myself safe but it will work so much better if you would learn how to protect me too. Because he really did love her, and wasn't a mean porcupine/puppy he agreed to talk to the wise owl. The wise owl sat with him night after night talking about all sorts of things. They talked about his family....he remembered vaguely once seeing a large spiny shadow when his dad walked by and his mom was definitely more of a wire haired breed than a soft retriever but he didn't think there were any porcupines in the family tree; surely not." Let's look at just the facts" said the wise old owl. "When you jump on her lap, rub against her or hold her close she says it hurts and sometimes there is blood?" he asked. "yes, but that's not from me, someone else must have hurt her or maybe she's imagining it" answered porcupine.
"I have met your love and I can assure you she is not imagining her hurt, and while she has some scars from before she met you, these wounds are fresh" said the owl gently but firmly. "you love her,and you only want what is best for her, but the facts remain" here our wise owl gently puts his arm around the porcupine and looks sadly into his face. "you are hurting her"
"The good news is, you can make some adjustments, it will take time and you will have to practise lots and I will help you. Together we can learn how to keep those quills lying flat to keep your love safe from harm. She will come back and will have learned how to avoid injury when you forget to protect her but together you will help each other. You are a porcupine, that is one of the things she loves about you but you are not a puppy and you need to remember that your quills can protect but they can also hurt."
The porcupine stopped by the reflecting pond on the way home and took a good long look. He did have sparkly brown eyes, a cute button nose and he was round and cuddly shaped but then he saw something more, the moonlight sparkled on a thousand spiky tips; not soft fur like he'd always imagined. long, hard, razor sharp; they covered his body. His heart broke as he imagined those piercing the soft skin of his love. He pictured her face loving him, but also grimacing in pain. "I will learn!" he vowed to himself. "With help and hard work, I can learn how to keep her safe and then we can be together"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
