Beauty

My happy place

Baby at the beach

just past her in the darkness is the neverending expanse of sand and sea. there is nothing quite like a cuddle and bedtime story with the sound of smell of the sea in the background.

The cure for everything is salt water

Just let your cares float away in the sound of the waves, the smell of the salty air and the rhythm of the tides.

Christmas?!

This is an older christmas picture....our family has its own traditions which oddly enough include everyone blindfolded in the dark crawling around on the floor trying to put a flashlight together before you are killed by the Destroyer! A favourite for all ages!

This year is actually going to be a little different, Mom and Dad are heading to Nebraska for a long overdue visit and to meet their newest grandson. My kids are at Derek's from the 21st to the 30th so I"ve told work I can do extra shifts, Amy and Garron will be driving Ren to the airport on boxing day. We are getting together for a family dinner on the 23rd but that is it for plans this year.

Personally, my house is decorated and ready but I am not at all, just don't have any brilliant ideas this year. I have made it a practice for the kids and I to do something together instead of exchanging a lot of gifts but I'm drawing a blank this year.

This past week (actually 2 weeks) have been spent struggling with illness, and the ever present stress of finances. Just tired out and discouraged I guess. Needless to say that has also affected my view of my personal life...just not really interested in doing the work required to develop and explore new relationships. Plus I watched a great movie "Georgia Rules" that makes me rethink the whole idea of a stepfather! If you haven't seen it ---do it!

on the other hand my sweet and adorable daughter has it firmly in her mind that a 'new daddy" is the answer to everything and is quite vocal in her search....I have committed to praying about it with her but have amended the request to "another adult to help" this can include friendly grandmotherly types and takes some pressure off me.

Well, that's a short recap from me....I hope this finds you all well, ready for the holidays and enjoying life to the full. Amanda

Still Alive!

Well he wasn't an ax murderer ( I guess he could still turn out to be one but I'm being careful) We met at a local restaraunt (he wore his black australian cowboy hat so I'd recognise him) Over all I'd say it was a successful first date, no fireworks or heart thumping tension but that would have been a little scary. He was a nice, christian man trying to reach out to others the same way I am. We have agreed to continue to get to know one another but there is no commitment there, just a casual friendship which is great for now..... wish I had some funny cartoon or something to depict the scene but I don't , just use your imagination and thanks to those who have been so encouraging.

Back in the Saddle Again

O.K. friends and family, whether you like it or not you are invited to come along with me on my latest adventure. Be prepared for a wild ride (or to be bored out of your mind) either way I promise brutal honesty even if it makes me look like a complete idiot! (that should be worth a read don't you think?)

My goal this year was to allow my heart to be more open, allow myself to have feelings even at the risk of making mistakes and being hurt....Well I made my first mistake and got a little hurt but at the same time the experience has been good over all.....I had my first crush. It is embarrassing to even say that! but brutal honesty is what I promised! My new coworker/boss(bad start I know) has a lot of qualities I admire he is an incredibly hard worker, takes pride in his work and has fun at the same time, he is open and affectionate and wasn't scared off by my independance and "coolness" (by that I mean iciness not style)...I found I really enjoyed working with him and appreciated the attention he gave me....alas not all is as it should be..He is in a relationship and left this week to bring his family out west to live.... also there is no spiritual interest in his life and that is something I really don't want to compromise on...so to avoid the mistake of thinking he is the only one who will ever be interested in me, and with the advice of Dr. Henry Cloud(boundaries author) I have signed up with a reputable internet dating service (again, horrifyingly embarrassing to admit) I am now in communication with one gentleman on the west coast and have my first real date this afternoon! I have never gone out with someone I don't know...it is a little scary I have to admit but good for me. The focus is not to find that special someone at this time but to meet new people and practice my people and communication skills. Dating for fun not dating to find a mate..is how Dr. Cloud describes it..so here goes.

I will update occasionally but feel free to not read these if it bores you to tears. Mostly this is for my benefit and protection....the more open I am and honest with others the less opportunity there is to make poor choices and continue in unhealthy thinking patterns.